She Took My Heart and Went Crazy 4 Read online

  “I’m fucking with you, shorty.” He wrapped both of his heavy arms around her and pecked her forehead.

  Back in his embrace, all was right in her world again. All she had to do now was make sure all was right in his.

  2. This is All My Fault

  “Yes, I’m her brother.” Yeshi’s voice wavered as he stared at the older white man dressed in mint green scrubs.

  Logan rubbed her hand up and down his back as she stood silently next to him praying for his strength in her head. They’d only been in Savannah for a little over an hour, and they’d been at the hospital for the majority of the time. As hard as Yeshi had taken his sister’s death, he was still quick on his feet when it came to handling business.

  “You two can follow me.” The man looked from Yeshi to Logan and gave her a small smile before turning and leading them down a long hallway.

  Yeshi’s hand shook in Logan’s as their palms remained locked together. She could tell by the slow pace he was using that he was nervous and fearful about what they were headed to see, but he’d be alright. Her prayers had been for him from the moment she picked him up from her bedroom floor. He’d been drunker than anybody she’d ever seen, but she was able to get him cleaned up and settled enough to find out the truth behind his sister taking her own life.

  “She’s in here. You two can take as long as you’d like.”

  “Thank you,” Logan said to his back as he led them into the small room where Yeshi’s sister was.

  The body lying on the metal table was covered to the neck with a white sheet only revealing her head. Logan had known before entering that it would be sad, but she hadn’t been aware of just how sad it would be. Katana’s small body barely took up any space on the table while her beautiful face rested permanently relaxed. The light brown hair that was pulled back in a couple of unkempt braids was the same color as Yeshi’s. She was smaller with a different mouth, but she looked exactly like Yeshi.

  “You can stand as close as you’d like, but we ask that you don’t touch her,” the nurse instructed from the other side of the table.

  Logan looked away from Katana and up to Yeshi. He was upright on his feet, but his posture was lazy. His eyes were red with large bags beneath them while his lips remained balled up in his mouth. He had both of his hands tucked in his pockets while he stood staring at Katana.

  “You want to step closer?” Logan asked him.

  He shook his head once but didn’t use any verbal communication. He looked like he was in a daze for a while, and since Logan didn’t know what else to do or say, she quietly stood next to him. She watched him for a moment longer before looking back at the young girl who’d lost her soul to the terrible world they lived in. Sadness encompassed Logan as she considered the possibility that she could have easily been Katana.

  Tears welled up in her eyes, prompting her to step closer to the table. When she was only inches from Katana’s cold body, she raised her hand to touch her hair but was stopped by the attendant. Logan apologized before tilting her head to the side so that she could look at her better. Such a beautiful girl.

  “It’s okay now, angel. Get some rest and see the King,” Logan whispered into Katana’s ear.

  Seconds later, she heard a loud bass filled wail followed by some movement behind her. When she turned, Yeshi was crouched on the floor holding his head in his hands and crying his eyes out. Logan immediately went to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She held him close to her heart as he released the pain he’d been holding in.

  “This is my fault, Logan. I was supposed to protect her,” he managed to get out through his sobs.

  “No, it’s not. We all have a time to go, and when it’s that time, there’s nothing we can do to stop it.”

  Yeshi didn’t respond, but he didn’t need to. Logan wasn’t honestly looking for too much feedback from him at the moment anyway. He was too distraught. Nothing in his life made sense to him, but he’d be alright. She had been the same way when her mother passed.

  “Are you all done here?” The man in the scrubs was now standing in front of them as they sat crouched together on the floor.

  “Yes, I believe we are.” Logan pulled away and grabbed Yeshi’s face, so she could see his eyes. “You ready to go?”

  He nodded and stood to his feet. Without glancing Katana’s way again, he exited the room. Logan stayed behind for another moment. She rushed to Katana and leaned down near her ear again.

  “I’m going to take good care of him. You have my word, sis.” Totally against the man’s instructions, Logan quickly kissed the side of Katana’s face and hurried back out of the room.

  She bumped into Yeshi as soon as she stepped out of the door. He was looking down at her with a straight face and wet eyes.

  “What’d you say to her?”

  “I just gave her a kiss.”

  Yeshi sniffed hard before running his hand over his face and nodding. A couple of more deep breaths followed before he grabbed her around her neck and pulled her to him. His head immediately rested on the top of hers. They were about to walk down the hallway toward the exit again but were stopped by a nurse.

  “Sir, we need to know what funeral home to call.”

  Yeshi exhaled heavily and looked up toward the ceiling. It was clear he was in no shape to talk right then, so like she’d been doing since meeting him, Logan took over.

  “Can you give me a list, please? I’ll help you get everything taken care of. He’s had a long day.”

  The man nodded and smiled at her like he’d been doing all night before doing as she’d asked. It didn’t take too much longer for Logan to get Katana’s affairs squared away before she and Yeshi exited the hospital and headed toward her car.

  Once in the car and pulling away, Logan looked in his direction. She didn’t really want to bother him, but she needed to know where to go. She’d never been to Savannah a day in her life.

  “Yeshi, can you tell me where to go?”

  After sitting up in his seat some, Yeshi looked around before nodding. “Yeah, take that street right there.” He pointed out of the window. “When we get the stop sign, make a left, and I’ll tell you where to go from there.”

  Logan shifted gears and followed all Yeshi’s instructions until she pulled up to a rundown set of apartments. The brick building had black doors and cement porches. Trash and graffiti decorated the sidewalks while children’s toys were sprawled out here and there. A few men were huddled on the corners while a host of beat down cars took up the raggedy parking spaces. With the majority of the street lights blown out, Logan couldn’t really see anything, and she was most definitely not feeling that.

  “Where are we?”

  Yeshi looked around while unbuckling his seatbelt. “My old hood. My mom still lives here.”

  Logan wanted to ask him for more details but decided against it and just followed his lead. She was afraid out of her mind because she’d been a girl from the suburbs all her life. Never had she ever seen anywhere like where she was right then. Nothing about it looked safe. And though she had God and Yeshi, she still prided herself on using wisdom and being there right then wasn’t smart. It was too late at night to be somewhere that she didn’t belong.

  “Get out, we won’t stay long.”

  “What’s long?”

  Yeshi turned and looked at her, and for the first time in hours, he smiled. It wasn’t the one she’d grown accustomed to seeing, but it was still warming.

  “You scared?’

  Logan nodded in a hurry.

  “You don’t have to be. I’ll take care of you.”

  “How?”

  “Just know I will. Come on.” Yeshi opened the door and got out.

  Afraid to be left behind, Logan hopped out and rushed to him. Yeshi wrapped his arm around her as soon as she got to him, and she was so thankful for that. As they began to walk down the broken-up sidewalk, Yeshi nodded to a few of the people they passed while ignoring others.

  Logan w
ondered what that was about but was too afraid to even open her mouth.

  When they finally reached the black door at the end, Yeshi didn’t even bother to knock. He twisted the knob and walked right in. Logan’s face frowned as she looked at the doorknob as if it was infected with something. Why on earth would someone leave their door unlocked like that?

  “Trita!” Yeshi yelled.

  His voice echoed off the cement walls as he pulled Logan further into the house before kicking the door closed behind them. Blankets, piles of clothing, and food containers littered the living room while dirty dishes and more food debris covered the portion of the kitchen counter that she could see. Logan was repulsed, even grabbed the neck of her shirt and covered her nose. The smell of the house was putrid and making her feel sick to her stomach.

  “Trita!” Yeshi yelled again, this time releasing Logan’s hand and jogging up the flight of black stairs.

  Logan walked until she reached the bottom of the stairs and stood there with one of her arms folded around her stomach while the other held her shirt to her nose. Just by looking at Yeshi, she would have never in a million years placed him there, in that house, in that condition. He looked way too put together for the manner in which whoever Trita was obviously lived.

  “Why the fuck you ain’t answer me if you heard me calling your damn name?”

  Logan looked up the stairway when she heard Yeshi yelling.

  “Get your ass up and come downstairs.”

  Logan watched him hop down the stairs a few seconds later. His long body looked so nice in the black jeans and black hoodie he was wearing. Maybe it was because black was her favorite color or because he was so bright skinned, but it looked so sexy on him.

  When he stopped in front of her, he looked her over and smirked. “It stinks that bad?”

  She nodded.

  Yeshi looked around. “Hell yeah, it does.” He shook his head in disgust. “She’s a nasty bitch for living like this, but I’m not surprised.”

  “Who is she?”

  “My mama.”

  Logan’s eyes bucked. “Your mama?”

  He nodded. Logan was taken aback. With the way he spoke to her, she’d thought maybe Trita was someone who lived with his mother, definitely not the vessel that had brought him into the world. Logan watched him, still baffled by his attitude toward her, but she didn’t know his story, so she didn’t judge. She just stood there idly waiting for Trita to come down the stairs.

  Yeshi, on the other hand, went to the window covered by the long, dirty looking sheet and looked out. Logan wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but she wanted to stay close to him, so she padded across the living room floor in a hurry and stopped next to him. She was so close to him that when he turned around, he bumped into her. Immediately, his arms circled her body, preventing her from falling.

  “Damn, I ain’t see you right there.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “No, it ain’t. I almost knocked you on this dirty ass floor.” He turned his nose up and brought his eyes from the floor back to her. “You too good for that shit.” He grabbed her hand and tucked her fingers into his pocket. “That’s better. Hold my pocket and don’t go nowhere.”

  Logan couldn’t suppress her laughter. “I’m not a child, Yeshi.”

  “Nah, you ain’t, but you my baby, and I don’t want you catching nothing from touching any of this dirty ass shit.”

  “Yeshi, what the fuck you doing in my house?”

  Logan’s eyes followed the voice and found a bright skinned lady with large pink lips and thick eyebrows. She was definitely Yeshi’s mother. He was her twin. Her hair was in a short cut, making her look even more like him. Katana looked a lot like her too.

  “And why the fuck you bringing bitches to where I lay my head? I don’t know her.”

  Logan was immediately offended by Trita’s language.

  “Trita, you better get your shit together before talking to her or me.” Yeshi stepped toward her, dragging Logan along. “When is the last time you talked to Tana?”

  The scowl on Trita’s face let Logan know that she really wanted to say something rude or nasty to Yeshi but was holding it back. Which was probably for the best.

  “I don’t know. Tana is always in and out. I never see her ass. She thinks she’s too good to come around me.”

  “She is!” Yeshi yelled, making Logan and Trita jump. “I don’t even know why I’m doing your ass this courtesy, but I just thought you should know, she’s dead,” Yeshi spoke harshly. “Your fucking daughter overdosed on drugs because of your raggedy ass parenting.”

  Trita’s face softened, dropped even. Logan watched her eyeballs circle the floor for nothing in particular. Her hands also began to move pointlessly at her side as she shifted from one foot to the other.

  “I wish you would stand there like that shit bothers you.” Yeshi’s veins strained in his neck as his face grew redder.

  Logan softly patted the top of his hand. “Calm down.”

  “Where,” Trita paused and cleared her throat, “where is she?”

  “She’s here. I had her sent to the funeral home,” Logan answered before Yeshi had a chance.

  Trita’s nose frowned in Logan’s direction once again. Her eyes even squinted as her eyebrows knitted together.

  “I didn’t ask you.”

  “Fuck you.” Yeshi possessively circled Logan’s shoulders. “Nasty ass,” he fumed before kissing the top of Logan’s head. “I’m not having her a funeral. She’s being cremated, and I’m taking her away from you and away from Savannah.”

  “No! I need to see her.”

  “Hell no. You should have seen her when she was alive, but instead, you made her life a living hell.” Yeshi sneered. “You’re a sad excuse for a mother, and I hope you bust hell wide open for what you did to us.”

  Yeshi didn’t bother to stay there with her any longer, he turned and pulled Logan toward the front door. When they were back outside on the porch, Logan dropped her shirt and took a deep breath. She had never been more thankful for fresh air than she was in that moment. She could breathe easily again. Being in that apartment and trying not to inhale but still needing to breathe was pure torture.

  Yeshi said nothing else as they walked back to her car, drove to their hotel, or got food. It wasn’t until Logan was in the shower washing her body that he finally decided to talk. Her back had been to him, but the moment she felt the cool breeze on her body, she looked over her shoulder. Naked as the day he’d come into the world, Yeshi stood there watching her. Logan’s first thought was to shy away, but there was really nowhere to hide. The hotel shower was small, and she had nowhere to go. Yeshi could see her entire body without even trying.

  “You mind if I join you?”

  She shook her head, and he stepped in.

  “Thank you for all of this.” He spoke to her back.

  “It’s no problem.”

  “Yes, it is. I’ve been a load of bullshit since you met me.”

  Logan had to snicker because he was right about that, he had. Though he couldn’t help it, it still didn’t alleviate the fact that Yeshi had been one problem after the next since the moment she was introduced to him at the hospital.

  “I promise from this moment on to be better for you. You shouldn’t have to deal with this type of shit.”

  “Being from two different worlds is hard. You don’t have to apologize for it.” She tried to reassure him.

  Instead of saying anything to her, he stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her chest. When she was close enough, he pecked the back of her neck.

  Logan leaned into his embrace and closed her eyes. “Tell me about your mother.”

  Yeshi shook his head. “Nah, some stuff is better left unsaid.”

  “I don’t like secrets.”

  “I don’t like what she did to me, so I feel you.”

  More words were on the tip of Logan’s tongue, but she had to hold them because Yeshi’s hands had j
ust cupped both of her breasts and were seductively massaging and squeezing them.

  “Can I have some?”

  Logan’s head shook from side to side, but she hadn’t stopped him from groping her body. Yes and no was on the verge of slipping out, but that would be stupid. She couldn’t want sex and not want it at the same time, right? Or could she?

  “Yeshi, can I want to make love to you and push you away at the same time?”

  His lips were on her neck, making her eyes flutter. “Yeah. I want to be your man and run away from you at the same time.” His tongue glided across her damp skin. “The heart wants what the heart wants, and we can’t control that shit. Just let me have it.” His hands were now on both of her thighs squeezing and massaging them. “Turn around.”

  He released her, and she spun around to face him. Yeshi’s eyes burned a hole in her face as he stared down into it. She watched him while rubbing her hands all over his chest and arms. They were so big and strong, ripping with muscles beneath her palms.

  “We’re not supposed to want each other like this. You ain’t the kind of woman I like.” His hand pushed some of her hair from her face. “But I want you so fucking bad. Like really want you.” He chuckled to himself. “You know I be thinking about marrying you, so I can fuck you all the time?”

  Logan tittered. “You must already know that’s the only way you’re going to get it?”

  Yeshi nodded with a beautiful smile on his face. “Yeah, and its crazy because I love pussy so much, I’d marry you just to get it the way I want to. That’s some sad ass shit.”

  “Not really.” She smiled. “Kind of noble, actually.”

  “Noble? It’s noble for me to marry you to fuck?”

  “Not necessarily. It’s noble for you to respect me enough to marry me so you can make love.” She stressed her endearing term for their sex. “The bible says, it’s better to marry than to burn, so I agree with you.”

  “You’d marry me?”

  “In a heartbeat.”

  Yeshi’s smile was gone and replaced with a look of utter confusion. His eyes dark and searching hers for some type of clarity, but she’d provide none. Yeshi was grown. He knew what to do and how to do it; it was up to him if he wanted to keep playing the lost victim role. Logan could see straight through him. She had him spoiled. She’d been taking charge of them for too long, and it was time for him to figure his life out and take over for her and himself. She’d steered him back to the right track and would continue, but with his help.